Over the years, I have observed people who are real friends and people who claim to be friends.
Once I went to Aanand Sagar, Shegaon, enjoyed a lot ( not because it is an amusing park or something but because my true friends were with me.), after returning to Akola with all those moments with close friends, I just thought to count my real, close, true friends and I began with few names Anushka, Sagar,Tanaya, Sachin and hmm may be few more but at that time I truly believe the old saying that you can count your real friends on one hand. So, you may be asking what makes a person a real friend. I have identified my top eight characteristics of what I feel constitutes a true friend, or what I feel I need most in a friendship. In observing your relationships with other people, whether they are family members, people you went to school with, coworkers, or colleagues, how many of them are real friends? How many of them possess the following characteristics I feel contribute to or reflect real friendships?
1. Friends listen. Whether you are relating a good or bad experience, friends listen. They don't interrupt or try to make suggestions or recommendations. They simply listen, letting you get everything off your chest. When you have vented, they may offer feedback or have a suggestion, but they also acknowledge that you have to follow what is in your heart.
2. Friends don't judge. No matter what you have done or what you are doing, friends may express their sentiments or offer their perspective, but they strive not to make any type of judgment. After all, they are not in your shoes and may have no idea what you are experiencing.
3. Friends don't abuse you. They won't belittle, or swear or yell at you. They don't like to fight; they would rather discuss and work through difficult issues and situations. They don't hit you. Abuse is not love; it is a form of control. Friends don't try to control each other.
4. Friends are there for you. Whether you are happy or sad, excited or exhausted, friends are always available. If you need to talk, they will listen, regardless of how long you talk or what time of day it is. If you are silent, they will sit next to you until you're ready to speak. Whether they go with you for a walk or hold you while you cry, they are there for you. ( for sagar, sachin, suyash, tejal)
5. Friends accept you for who you are. They don't try to make you the kind of person they think you should be, they just accept you. They accept you whether you're having a good or bad day, whether you are loud and boisterous or shy and quiet, whether you are always early or late, whether you are organized and clean or unorganized and sloppy, or whether you are fashionable or frumpy. Real friends look beyond these things, as they are trivial in the long range. They simply accept you for who you are, and love you anyhow. ( Experienced from all my friends in Pune, Thanks 4 accepting what I am)
6. Friends can pick up where they left off, regardless of the time and distance that separates them. Real friends can go months without speaking, but when they do, it seems like yesterday. It doesn't matter who calls who, or who called who last, they are just glad to hear from each other. Time and distance can’t separate real friends. ( Noted from friendship experience with Anushka, Alexandra & Tanaya)
7. Friends understand that friendship is a two-way street. When one friend has a bad day, the other will listen, knowing that when they have a bad day, their friend will be there for them. Friends listen to each other, share ideas and stories, brainstorm, and solve problems together. Their relationship is not one-sided; they both give and take. ( Noted it from my experience with my friend sachin, prajot )
8. Friends enjoy each other. When you are with a real friend, time passes quickly. You laugh, share stories and experiences, do things together, and like to be together. Friends are your favorite people to hang out with, as you really like them as people. They are stimulating and fun, not boring.
(Sachin Gabhane, Raunak Shroff, and many more)
After reading the above characteristics, how many of these are important to you in your relationships? Are there other characteristics you desire or need in friendships? Whatever you desire or need most, make a list of those characteristics and see how many of your “friends” have them. In conducting this exercise, you may find that you're satisfied with your current friends or you may reassess what true friendship is. Either way, you deserve friends that listen, don't judge you, don't abuse you, are there for you, except you for you who you are, don't let time and distance stand in the way, understand that friendship is a two-way street, and enjoy you.
Dedicating this to some True Friends in my Life -
1] Anushka Manjrekar ( to whom I met in 6th std)
2] Piyush Zambad, Vinay Jadhao, Tejal Kasture, Abhilasha ( school Khamgaon friends )
3] Sagar Patil, Manali, Saurabh ( Akola Friends )
4] Karan Atram, Ankush Wankhade, Swanad Joshi & Apurva Taley ( VBMV friends )
5] Sachin, Suyash, Raunak Shroff, Saran Sarage, Sachin Gabhane, Prajot, Sahil, Nikunj, Rahul and few more ( Sipna Friends )
6] Milind Kudale, Tanaya, Shruti and Sayali (Pune Friends)
7] Alexandra Lisa, Elizabeth Bourbon, Jemmy Bourbon, Sujay Nene, Maya Pandit, Anwesha Manjrekar
Priyanka Manjrelar ( Friends Abroad )
8] Tanvi Hegde, Shriya Pilgaonkar, Nikitha Thukral, Ashwami Manjrekar, Satya Manjrekar,
Aditya Narayan, Shweta Subramanium, Anushka Manjrekar, Aishwarya Majmudar, Abhilasha
Chellum, Samira Gujar,etc ( All celebrity friends from Mumbai )
WISH U A VERY HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY IN ADVANCE
: - Suyog M. Potdar
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Indian Culture v/s Western Culture
Like the bee gathering honey from different flowers,
the wise one sees only the good in all religions & cultures,
and accepts the essence of the different scriptures.
There are some good virtues in Western Culture as well Bad practices and beliefs in Indian Culture. Good & Bad are relative terms. Every Coin has two sides.
There is a need to bring a cultural revolution in India by mixing two cultures, so that our past generation and coming generation go hand in hand. There is need to make our youth aware of our Pure and Divine Indian Culture as well as teach them how to catch and perceive good things from foreign culture and keep pace with both. There are many good things, principles in our culture but also bad practices like Dowry, various exploitations, castisms etc.
Once I was exploring Ajanta Caves with my friends and there were some foreigners, a man near our group was eating Paan (beetal leaf), foreigners found it strange and inquired-
" What are you eating ? What is that? ".
The man explained them in a very good manner, he told about its contains, and also added beetal leafs are good for digestion and hence it is practice in India to have a beetal leaf after the meal. Foreigners were so impressed and they promised that they will surely taste it. They move ahead exploring the beautiful paintings and carvings inside the cave. Suddenly another man eating Paan spitted in
the corner, all foreigner noticed that, gave a moaning expression and pass. After coming out of the cave, the earlier man went near the group and told them that there is a Paan Stall, and they can taste paan there. But they politely rejected and explained him that they agree There are many good things in India, In fact India is a great Treasure of good virtues but sorry to say You Indians are not aware of that. All the qualities of your paan goes in vain if some of you are spitting it near such a valuable and unique carvings, and spoilng the natural heritage of your country.
I often used to ask my relatives, friends studying abroad about their cultural life. And believe me that is not that much verse what we have thought of, in fact they gave me many positive responses, I agree in India we respect our parents, elders, May be foreigners are not respecting elders, but indeed they respect and have love for youngsters and children that is not found in India where child labour is practiced and merciless behavior is done with them.
Once my family went to a Durga Devi Temple near Philadelphia, USA, they saw there some American ladies in sarees and bindi and even offering 'Oati' to devi, and unfortunately there were some Indian womens there in 3/4th jeans and T-shirts.
Last year in Feb 2009, there was engagement of Dr. Anwesha Manjrekar with Dr. Sujay Nene (Brother in Law of Madhuri Dixit Nene), it took place at Los Angeles with all religious practices that we have in Marathi 'Sakhshgandha', As Anwesha's uncle was Manager at 20th Century Fox and Sujay's sister in law was Madhuri Dixit, there were some Hollywood Actresses specially invited to see What an Indian Engagement ceremony is! And they were surprised and had become sentinel when they had watch the In-Law's (Sas Sasur) of bride washing her feet with a great respect for her, they asked Anushka (Anwesha's Sis), Hey why they are washing her feet, And she told in India bride is considered as Goddess, in fact Sister in Law's in India are respected as a Godess Lakshmi, listening that one Actress ( I cant specify her name here) exclaimed " If we had such a relations with In Law's and got such respects from in laws we can also worship our husband and his family" added other " If that was Love in my Family, I had not divorced from my two ex-husbands and married to the third one, Thats true what we had heard about India and Indian Culture, Really Great Culture"
My dear friends, we have a very great culture and are also free to follow western etiquettes but please "DON'T BLINDLY IMITATE THE WESTERN CULTURE" , examine yourself with your virtues and principles and accept whats really good and try to get rid out of bad things from our culture and let us pass a really Pure, Unique and flawless culture to our next generation.
Thanks !!
BHARAT MATA KI JAY !!!
:- Suyog M. Potdar ( Amravati )
the wise one sees only the good in all religions & cultures,
and accepts the essence of the different scriptures.
There are some good virtues in Western Culture as well Bad practices and beliefs in Indian Culture. Good & Bad are relative terms. Every Coin has two sides.
There is a need to bring a cultural revolution in India by mixing two cultures, so that our past generation and coming generation go hand in hand. There is need to make our youth aware of our Pure and Divine Indian Culture as well as teach them how to catch and perceive good things from foreign culture and keep pace with both. There are many good things, principles in our culture but also bad practices like Dowry, various exploitations, castisms etc.
Once I was exploring Ajanta Caves with my friends and there were some foreigners, a man near our group was eating Paan (beetal leaf), foreigners found it strange and inquired-
" What are you eating ? What is that? ".
The man explained them in a very good manner, he told about its contains, and also added beetal leafs are good for digestion and hence it is practice in India to have a beetal leaf after the meal. Foreigners were so impressed and they promised that they will surely taste it. They move ahead exploring the beautiful paintings and carvings inside the cave. Suddenly another man eating Paan spitted in
the corner, all foreigner noticed that, gave a moaning expression and pass. After coming out of the cave, the earlier man went near the group and told them that there is a Paan Stall, and they can taste paan there. But they politely rejected and explained him that they agree There are many good things in India, In fact India is a great Treasure of good virtues but sorry to say You Indians are not aware of that. All the qualities of your paan goes in vain if some of you are spitting it near such a valuable and unique carvings, and spoilng the natural heritage of your country.
I often used to ask my relatives, friends studying abroad about their cultural life. And believe me that is not that much verse what we have thought of, in fact they gave me many positive responses, I agree in India we respect our parents, elders, May be foreigners are not respecting elders, but indeed they respect and have love for youngsters and children that is not found in India where child labour is practiced and merciless behavior is done with them.
Once my family went to a Durga Devi Temple near Philadelphia, USA, they saw there some American ladies in sarees and bindi and even offering 'Oati' to devi, and unfortunately there were some Indian womens there in 3/4th jeans and T-shirts.
Last year in Feb 2009, there was engagement of Dr. Anwesha Manjrekar with Dr. Sujay Nene (Brother in Law of Madhuri Dixit Nene), it took place at Los Angeles with all religious practices that we have in Marathi 'Sakhshgandha', As Anwesha's uncle was Manager at 20th Century Fox and Sujay's sister in law was Madhuri Dixit, there were some Hollywood Actresses specially invited to see What an Indian Engagement ceremony is! And they were surprised and had become sentinel when they had watch the In-Law's (Sas Sasur) of bride washing her feet with a great respect for her, they asked Anushka (Anwesha's Sis), Hey why they are washing her feet, And she told in India bride is considered as Goddess, in fact Sister in Law's in India are respected as a Godess Lakshmi, listening that one Actress ( I cant specify her name here) exclaimed " If we had such a relations with In Law's and got such respects from in laws we can also worship our husband and his family" added other " If that was Love in my Family, I had not divorced from my two ex-husbands and married to the third one, Thats true what we had heard about India and Indian Culture, Really Great Culture"
My dear friends, we have a very great culture and are also free to follow western etiquettes but please "DON'T BLINDLY IMITATE THE WESTERN CULTURE" , examine yourself with your virtues and principles and accept whats really good and try to get rid out of bad things from our culture and let us pass a really Pure, Unique and flawless culture to our next generation.
Thanks !!
BHARAT MATA KI JAY !!!
:- Suyog M. Potdar ( Amravati )
My Mother - a story of importance of Mother
Mother, Aai, Maa, One cannot imagine the depth of Love & compassion lies in these words. One must owe everything to this Idol of God. “ Tumko na dekha Humne Kabhi, Lekin Uski Jaroorat Kya Hogi, Ae Maa, Ae Maa, Teri Surat Ki Siva Bhagwan Ki Surat Kya Hogi”. Only three alphabets “Aai”, “Maa” can make much emotional sentinel even to the rudest person in the world. But still, we don’t recognize it.
When I was small, school going I too was so Rude, My Mother was striving hard for me but I had not recognized her importance. Even there are many incidents in my life when I felt underestimated due to my mother. I always try to avoid my Mom to go for parents meet in my school, and ask father to go for the meet. Because although she was well qualified, in fact had done Mastery in Arts but in Marathi Literature which I felt useless for the Parents meet of a Convent school strictly conducted in English. I just can’t explain how wrong I was.
Once there was a Party arranged at one of my classmates Anushka’s house on the occasion of Mother’s Day. All friends were invited with their mother for the get together.
The invitation was given to my mother also. She also got ready for the party. One of my Friend came to my house with her mother, who was a Doctor. I was quite nervous because my friend’s mothers were at some good position, there were hardly some housewives. Next, Anushka’s Father was an Engineer, NRI Businessman that made me aware that what a fabulous Party it would be. And I thought my mother would be the only one who seems quite low standard.
I don’t want to get embarrassed in the party because of my mother’s ignorance of English. As I have mentioned, indeed I was very merciless, and mercilessly I ignored my Mom who was getting ready for the party & went alone for the Party giving the excuse that my mother is not feeling well. But my friends told the truth to Anushka. And she was so much angry with me. Indeed, I deserved that but again I had done because I was loving my mother & it might hurt me a lot if someone in the party abuse or make a joke of my mother.
When I was enjoying party games with some of my friends, Anushka accompanying some other friends went my Home & requested my mother to please come for the Party. She brought my mother in the Party. Now this has made me very shameful, somewhere I knew that I was wrong. She only introduced my mom with her mother told her that Aunty was not feeling well but I requested her to please join us.
As it was decided one by one every child with his/her mother is being called on stage for sharing some views.
Anushka & her mother were called. Anushka begin her speech-
“My dear friends today I want to tell you one story, a story that I had listened from my grandmother, when I was in London.
The story of Mom’s Sacrifice-
“ My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school.
I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.
I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughing stock. Why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.
That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.
Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Oxford and studied, and got accepted in the Oxford University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me "What?! Who's this?!" ...It was my mother...Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her,” Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank goodness... she doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After there union, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
She wrote:
My son...
I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit London anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were still young around me.
I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.
My world shattered!!!
Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother. “
After a huge cloud of Applause for her & her mother.
“ Me and my Mom was invited, I was crying listening to Anushka’s story as I knew it was targeted on me. But soon was surprised listening my mother’s voice, I was zapped when she introduced her & gives a good speech in fluent English. she told that she had joined an English Speaking class last month and I was speechless, in fact so much embarrassed & my mother embraced me. I took the microphone & tell the truth & ask all to please forgive me. Anushka & her mother came to the dice wiping away my tears her mother told me that regretting vanishes all mistakes. She added that she too is M.A. in Sanskrit & had learned English few years after marriage and she too is a Housewife & the toughest job in the world is to become an eminent Housewife. She also explained me the importance of a mother. I am really thankful to God who has sent Anushka & her mother as Angels who has made aware of my ignorance. And that was the one of the most memorable day in my life. From that day onwards, I respect not only to my mother but to every mother in the Universe. My Salute to All the Mothers in the Universe.
Matru Dev Bhav!!!
:- Suyog M. Potdar ( Amravati)
[This is one of my award winning article, published in many newspapers and magazines, It is actually an abstract from my Novel "An Angel who changed my Life" and is also included in my novel "Rich Dad Poor Mom", these Novels are based on very awesome real life stories. ]
When I was small, school going I too was so Rude, My Mother was striving hard for me but I had not recognized her importance. Even there are many incidents in my life when I felt underestimated due to my mother. I always try to avoid my Mom to go for parents meet in my school, and ask father to go for the meet. Because although she was well qualified, in fact had done Mastery in Arts but in Marathi Literature which I felt useless for the Parents meet of a Convent school strictly conducted in English. I just can’t explain how wrong I was.
Once there was a Party arranged at one of my classmates Anushka’s house on the occasion of Mother’s Day. All friends were invited with their mother for the get together.
The invitation was given to my mother also. She also got ready for the party. One of my Friend came to my house with her mother, who was a Doctor. I was quite nervous because my friend’s mothers were at some good position, there were hardly some housewives. Next, Anushka’s Father was an Engineer, NRI Businessman that made me aware that what a fabulous Party it would be. And I thought my mother would be the only one who seems quite low standard.
I don’t want to get embarrassed in the party because of my mother’s ignorance of English. As I have mentioned, indeed I was very merciless, and mercilessly I ignored my Mom who was getting ready for the party & went alone for the Party giving the excuse that my mother is not feeling well. But my friends told the truth to Anushka. And she was so much angry with me. Indeed, I deserved that but again I had done because I was loving my mother & it might hurt me a lot if someone in the party abuse or make a joke of my mother.
When I was enjoying party games with some of my friends, Anushka accompanying some other friends went my Home & requested my mother to please come for the Party. She brought my mother in the Party. Now this has made me very shameful, somewhere I knew that I was wrong. She only introduced my mom with her mother told her that Aunty was not feeling well but I requested her to please join us.
As it was decided one by one every child with his/her mother is being called on stage for sharing some views.
Anushka & her mother were called. Anushka begin her speech-
“My dear friends today I want to tell you one story, a story that I had listened from my grandmother, when I was in London.
The story of Mom’s Sacrifice-
“ My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school.
I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.
I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughing stock. Why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.
That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.
Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Oxford and studied, and got accepted in the Oxford University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me "What?! Who's this?!" ...It was my mother...Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her,” Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank goodness... she doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After there union, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
She wrote:
My son...
I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit London anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were still young around me.
I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.
My world shattered!!!
Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother. “
After a huge cloud of Applause for her & her mother.
“ Me and my Mom was invited, I was crying listening to Anushka’s story as I knew it was targeted on me. But soon was surprised listening my mother’s voice, I was zapped when she introduced her & gives a good speech in fluent English. she told that she had joined an English Speaking class last month and I was speechless, in fact so much embarrassed & my mother embraced me. I took the microphone & tell the truth & ask all to please forgive me. Anushka & her mother came to the dice wiping away my tears her mother told me that regretting vanishes all mistakes. She added that she too is M.A. in Sanskrit & had learned English few years after marriage and she too is a Housewife & the toughest job in the world is to become an eminent Housewife. She also explained me the importance of a mother. I am really thankful to God who has sent Anushka & her mother as Angels who has made aware of my ignorance. And that was the one of the most memorable day in my life. From that day onwards, I respect not only to my mother but to every mother in the Universe. My Salute to All the Mothers in the Universe.
Matru Dev Bhav!!!
:- Suyog M. Potdar ( Amravati)
[This is one of my award winning article, published in many newspapers and magazines, It is actually an abstract from my Novel "An Angel who changed my Life" and is also included in my novel "Rich Dad Poor Mom", these Novels are based on very awesome real life stories. ]
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